CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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