She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
