She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
