# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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