I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
