I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
