from now on my penis is your penis
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
