$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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