I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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