hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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