i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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