He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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