Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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