I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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