And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
