Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
