jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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