If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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