I wish I only lived at night.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
