She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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