Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
