I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
