just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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