I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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