U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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