she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
