we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
