The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Operation Purity has been aborted
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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