I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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