I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
