Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We are two peas in an std pod
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
