dude i'm inner monologue high
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
That accounts for only three of the penises
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
