I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
