you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
