I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He kissed a someone with a penis
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
