Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You made out with two different species that night
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
