the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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