What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
