sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
