...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
