Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
third nipple confirmed
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
