i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
