Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
