I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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