Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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