That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
