Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
