It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
