I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
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