I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
